Monday, July 8, 2013

The 10 Things You and Your Significant Other Will Truly Appreciate When the Zombie Apocalypse Comes

By Chris Miller

Frankly, you won’t survive the Zombie Apocalypse if you haven’t stockpiled food. Exposing yourself to the dangers that zombies—and other survivors—pose will end up getting you killed. But, on the other hand, if you’ve been smart and managed to give yourself enough food that you don’t need to forage all the time, you stand a much better chance of surviving.




Before I get into the actual objects you’ll need, let me say that you’re absolutely going to need a plan. If you wander aimlessly, you’ll be exposed and then dead. You’re going to want to head to a lightly populated area (under a few thousand people) where you have family or friends. You’re going to want to stay in that area, and none of you are going to want to draw attention to yourselves. You never want to travel alone, and you never want to run into people you don’t know—zombies or not. My guess is that most people in rural areas will actually succumb to other people looking for supplies rather than to zombies. While you’re getting there, stick to roads less traveled.

If you’re in an urban zone, hospitals will eventually be a good place to go, but not right away. There are sure to be zombies there since the first place the sick will be brought is to the hospital, and people seeking supplies will go to the hospital. After those initial waves, however, the hospital—with its backup generator and security cameras (be sure to shut off the breakers for lights connected to non-essential spaces, since that’s sure to attract unwanted attention)—will be the place to go in an urban zone.

Eventually, however, you’ll have to leave the hospital since you won’t have a sustainable supply of food. You’re going to want to head out to the wilderness to a smaller settlement, which will be far less likely to have been contaminated and will be more defensible.

You don’t want to advertise your preparations to anyone, but you can certainly start giving gifts that will be useful, so here are 10 things you should consider buying for yourself or giving to those closest to you—you know, the people who will stay with you when the zombies arise.

1. Emergency Kit. Let’s face it: we’re a pampered generation and will get hurt when we face Mother Nature and her twisted children, zombies. In the latter case, we won’t need the emergency kit; let your friends and family keep their dignity and don’t let them turn into zombies in the first place. In the former case, that emergency kit’s going to come in handy. You’re going to fall sometime, and you’re going to get a bee sting or two, and you’re going to want to have emergency gear to deal with those sorts of things. You’ll need to disinfect any and all wounds.

2. Rifle. Rifles may not be the best weapon against zombies, but they will protect you against human intruders, and they’ll be capable of taking down game for food. In a pinch, you can even use a rifle butt as a bludgeoning defensive weapon, but you should invest in stock gun parts to get a harder, more durable wood than the standard to make sure it lasts.

3. Generator. The hospital provided heat and surveillance because it had a generator, and when you leave town, you’re going to want to take it with you. If you can, do so. Else you should get yourself a small generator in preparation for the zombie apocalypse. With a little know-how, you can give yourself permanent access to electricity using PVC pipes (which won’t be too difficult to find and scavenge—aside from the zombies) and the alternator from a car. With access to these items, you can get a generator up and running to power all sorts of tools (i.e. make friends with a contractor) to get yourself permanent shelter and to operate the all-important fuel pumps.

4. Water Filter(s). After society collapses, the power grid and water purification plants will shut down, so in addition to needing that generator, you’re also going to need some way of accessing clean water. While a UV pen could work, you’re going to want to stay in a group of people and will need larger amounts of water for your group. (You’ll periodically have to clean the filters, but it’s definitely the best option out there—outside pure mountain springs anyway.)

5. Survival Guides. These are the sorts of items you can surreptitiously give to people—though you should certainly buy your own and familiarize yourself with its teachings. Among the most important guides you’ll want is a field guide to edible wild plants. Frankly, most of us don’t know how to farm, and farms will be the first sites to be raided outside cities. If you’re on the move, you’re going to want to know which plants are safe to eat, and how to prepare them.

6. Bulletproof Vests. No zombies will be shooting guns (because let’s face it: if zombies retain their intelligence, it’s only a matter of time until we’re all dead, so there’s no point in bothering with a survival guide), but other people absolutely will if they think you’re hostile, or if you have supplies they need (and don’t think you’ll trade or be able to share with them). For $500 dollars, you can purchase a bulletproof vest that will last for years—plenty of time for you to establish a safe haven. Sure, getting shot in a bulletproof vest will leave you sore, but it’ll also give you a chance to fight back.

7. Clothes. Unless you’re lucky enough to live in an area of the world where the temperature is mild, you’re going to need to prepare yourself with the right kinds of clothes. Especially back east in the U.S., you’re going to need winter gear or else you’re not going to survive: long johns, gloves, wool socks, winter hat with ear flaps, etc.

8. Hunting Knife. Not only will a hunting knife work wonders for a close-contact emergency fight, but also it can be used for any fine motor task requiring a sharp edge: stripping wires, preparing food.

9. Double-bladed Axe. Not only will a double-bladed axe chop zombies up more thoroughly than a machete (the usual candidate for this sort of thing), but also it can take opponents down on the back swing.

10. Fire-starters. Though you’re not going to want to announce your presence, in some places even with winter gear you’re going to need fire. And if you manage to get meat, you’re going to need to cook it. The utility of fire shouldn’t be under question, so especially once you’ve got fortified shelter, you’re all going to be clamoring for fire.

If you don’t have all of these items, and you want to survive the zombie apocalypse, make sure you add these to your wish lists.  Am I forgetting anything?

[Author Bio:] Chris Miller is a professional writer, blogger, and English grammar enthusiast. Chris enjoys learning about new health products, procedures, and ideas.

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